Passion

Passion is a word that I love to be associated with. I think I've always wanted to live a life of passion and when asked I would never stray from that desire, but right now I'm feel a little less than passionate. Today my pastor spoke about Passion, about living big, and I loved it.

Life is meant to be lived you know?! And because right now everything is up in the air I have found myself feeling much more comfortable hiding away under the covers, it's safe there, miserable, but safe.

I've been struggling, feeling a bit depressed, afraid, unavailable, and chaotic in the doldrums of my life, the thoughts in my head.

The message was about David from the Bible. I like hearing about David because I relate to him. He lived his life with passion, he was emotional, he loved, hated, experienced joy unthinkable, sorrow unknown, and yet, he was a man after God's own heart. The last part of this is music to my ears because I think God enjoyed his passion. I'd like to believe that God enjoys mine as well.

Today I am making that choice again, and may have to make it tomorrow and the next day as well to pick myself up, face the world, and not let the chaos and unknown paralyze me. It may not look like I think it should, but this is life, another day of the adventure, and it hit me today that this may actually be a bigger challenge than Zambia. This may be the place now where Faith and Trust are necessary to face the day and believe that God is still good, he is still present, and He has a plan for all of this.

Strange how everything flips around when we aren't watching. and now I am in an old and unfamiliar land that I have never been before, and God is asking me to trust him....