Spoiled

I am in a time of transition and I am finding it a bit strange. Being on Holiday for the past five days has really opened my eyes to the dual life that I am currently living. Last week I was taking care of children who had been abandoned and sick. Today I am sitting at the mall, drinking a latte and using the wireless Internet connection available. I feel strange. Although I miss my comfortable life, I also crave the exhaustion that comes from doing hard work. I am looking forward to Malawi very much. We are wrapping things up here so now we are doing a lot of planning and organizing...translated, a lot of sitting on our butts and talking. It is exciting stuff but at the end of the day I just want to distract myself from the reality that I am leaving my friends behind yet again, leaving my new family behind yet again, and on to do something alone, something that is going to be much more difficult than what I am doing right now. I'm nervous, and I hope I am prepared.

This morning I was praying that God would show me something, something big and glorious that I could bask in. Instead He humbled me with today's reading in My Utmost for His Highest. (Thanks so much Ann by the way!) He told me that I must trust Him and continue on. He told me that I wasn't looking for Him at all, that I was growing too attached to the big experiences with Him instead of just walking with Him in the day to day grind of life. Alright, I will do it...and that is where Trust is really apparent. He isn't enlightening me, do I still trust Him? He hasn't brought any outstanding words, will I still talk to Him? I don't feel the vision, will I still follow Him? I was challenged, questioned my love for Him. Do I love Him, truly, or do I love what He can do for me, in my life? I spent a good time in prayer after this and felt refreshed, sometimes you just gotta talk to Him and find encouragement knowing that He is listening. I am starting a 11 part study of Ephesians and am looking forward to being challenged again. Ephesians is a good book, challenging, but so good. I read through it this morning and was so thankful for Jesus, because of Him I have hope, only because of Him.

I am posting some more pictures today, I got my hair cut...exciting information huh?! :) Okay, I think I'll go. Hey, if anyone sees my friend Frank, tell him "hey" for me and "what's up G-funk" I miss him today and wonder how he is. Shannon, thanks for your letter, I got it and was so happy to get some mail. Jimmy, we're still in love...good! I'm glad we got to dance at Katie's wedding...

Love you all!