Brooker and Paula are here and it is so good to have them! It is great to have someone to laugh with about jokes from South Africa! God is good to have blessed me with them!
Please pray that our time together would be sweet, that we would have fun, have time for some good and deeply needed talks, and that we would all be encouraged by one another.
Brooker made muffins today, that means I love her just a little bit more today than I did yesterday! :)
8.30.2007
8.29.2007
Ruthless Trust
I am learning (Ndesambilila) what this is, Trust....I am reading a book that I started over a year ago and then put down unfinished. You know how that goes, God begins something in you, you seek Him until you feel better and then drop the subject without finding healing or a true answer. We are so fickle with God, I wonder how He continues to love us through it all?! So this book, by my favorite author Brennan Manning...I am in pursuit of God, learning to trust His love for me. I really want it to soak in, to be real to me.
I started working this week... I went out on Home Based Care on Monday morning. The project here only goes out in the field twice a week and only for half days on those two days. It is a strange feeling because this is a small area and the people we are visiting are actually my neighbors. There is something comforting about going and helping people that are a bit distant from you. You can go home and convince yourself that it might have all been another world...but here, it is my backyard. I am a little ashamed to say it, but I need to be honest. It is more of a challenge to see your heart, your compassion, when you can't escape as most of us want to do, but we have to face the pain every day. What do I do? What can I give? I was challenged in a big way to evaluate my heart and commitment.
One of the women I actually met on the mini-bus last week. Valerie and Cath were talking to her son and as we got off the bus we saw him help this woman out as she was disabled and needed a wheelchair. I greeted her, Mulishani? and she asked me who I was and what I did. In meeting her I found that she was a client of ours. We went to visit her on Monday and I learned that she is quite the woman. She is actually prostituting herself out, even in her condition. She sells the medications that are given to her...and her children suffer the consequences, the stigma's. She is HIV + but won't admit it although it is written all over her scarred face. I wonder what brings people to this place? How can men knowingly sleep with her? Pay her to infect them with death? It just doesn't make sense!
There is a new dynamic at work here since the men and women are still married, still alive. I sat in a sitting room with a couple, both infected, only enough money for one of them to be on ARV's. I wondered how they decided the husband should be the one to be treated or if there was a conversation at all. She felt hopeless and we read scriptures. I tried to see her face, to see if it was an encouragement or a slap in the face. Where is God when someone is dying, where is God when you have missed out on the selection and the man who infected you is getting a chance at life? There is a need for something big, for the love of God to be so evident this woman can hold onto it for hope, for life. We all need something to live for!
I have one true bodyguard here in Zambia, her name is knowledge and she takes the form of a small black dog. She has fleas and ticks, but she loves me. She sits on my doorstep throughout most of the day and sleep there at night. When I go somewhere she comes along with. I go to the market, knowledge comes along. Sometimes I don't even realize she is there because she hides in the shadows of my feet. She is tricky. I don't even know who's dog she is truly, mine I guess. She came with me to work on Monday, she and two of Jacob and Annie's dogs. I'm not mean enough to convince them to go home when I say "Go". they just look at me with pleading eyes and when I sigh and go on, they come along. :) Another reason for the locals to laugh at the crazy white girl!
My parents are coming out here in less than a month and I can barely contain my excitement...I am ready to see them, to talk too much to them, to have them close to me.
I started working this week... I went out on Home Based Care on Monday morning. The project here only goes out in the field twice a week and only for half days on those two days. It is a strange feeling because this is a small area and the people we are visiting are actually my neighbors. There is something comforting about going and helping people that are a bit distant from you. You can go home and convince yourself that it might have all been another world...but here, it is my backyard. I am a little ashamed to say it, but I need to be honest. It is more of a challenge to see your heart, your compassion, when you can't escape as most of us want to do, but we have to face the pain every day. What do I do? What can I give? I was challenged in a big way to evaluate my heart and commitment.
One of the women I actually met on the mini-bus last week. Valerie and Cath were talking to her son and as we got off the bus we saw him help this woman out as she was disabled and needed a wheelchair. I greeted her, Mulishani? and she asked me who I was and what I did. In meeting her I found that she was a client of ours. We went to visit her on Monday and I learned that she is quite the woman. She is actually prostituting herself out, even in her condition. She sells the medications that are given to her...and her children suffer the consequences, the stigma's. She is HIV + but won't admit it although it is written all over her scarred face. I wonder what brings people to this place? How can men knowingly sleep with her? Pay her to infect them with death? It just doesn't make sense!
There is a new dynamic at work here since the men and women are still married, still alive. I sat in a sitting room with a couple, both infected, only enough money for one of them to be on ARV's. I wondered how they decided the husband should be the one to be treated or if there was a conversation at all. She felt hopeless and we read scriptures. I tried to see her face, to see if it was an encouragement or a slap in the face. Where is God when someone is dying, where is God when you have missed out on the selection and the man who infected you is getting a chance at life? There is a need for something big, for the love of God to be so evident this woman can hold onto it for hope, for life. We all need something to live for!
I have one true bodyguard here in Zambia, her name is knowledge and she takes the form of a small black dog. She has fleas and ticks, but she loves me. She sits on my doorstep throughout most of the day and sleep there at night. When I go somewhere she comes along with. I go to the market, knowledge comes along. Sometimes I don't even realize she is there because she hides in the shadows of my feet. She is tricky. I don't even know who's dog she is truly, mine I guess. She came with me to work on Monday, she and two of Jacob and Annie's dogs. I'm not mean enough to convince them to go home when I say "Go". they just look at me with pleading eyes and when I sigh and go on, they come along. :) Another reason for the locals to laugh at the crazy white girl!
My parents are coming out here in less than a month and I can barely contain my excitement...I am ready to see them, to talk too much to them, to have them close to me.
8.23.2007
Mazungu
I'm a white girl living in an African world! the children yell Mazungu, mazungu as I walk past in my Zambian attire...my skin keeps me from being anonymous in this small world I am now living in. Mazungu means white person...I try to see it as an endearing term rather than a racial comment. It isn't like calling me something horrible, just a term for my kind...the whiteys!
Today the water will be off for most of the day and tonight is the night for 2 hours of no electricity. I am learning the schedule now, but the water is a new difficulty. You don't realize how much water you use until you don't have any!
Valerie Long, a friend from the Gathering, is here visiting for a couple of days with her friend Cath from Kenya, it is good to see another familiar face. God has been blessing me with friends all around, never a lack actually and I am blessed to see his hand of protection over my heart and life. I am looking forward to hearing good stories of their travels by candlelight tonight!
Pray for my mind, my thinking...Ive been under attack, believing lies...this is my greatest struggle here, my thoughts. Pray specifically that I would be confident of my relationship with the Father, that I would have the wisdom to stop the lies from continuing by replacing them with truths from God's word. Thank you all who have been praying so faithfully!
To you ladies at church who love me more than I can know, I thank you so much for your prayers, for your encouragement. Thank you for ministering to my spirit, thank you for ministering to my mom in my absence. I know it blesses her heart to have you caring for me. You all hold such a dear place in my heart and I hope you know that I love you and am praying for you as well. You are treasures, and God is using you in amazing ways!
Love and Peace!
Today the water will be off for most of the day and tonight is the night for 2 hours of no electricity. I am learning the schedule now, but the water is a new difficulty. You don't realize how much water you use until you don't have any!
Valerie Long, a friend from the Gathering, is here visiting for a couple of days with her friend Cath from Kenya, it is good to see another familiar face. God has been blessing me with friends all around, never a lack actually and I am blessed to see his hand of protection over my heart and life. I am looking forward to hearing good stories of their travels by candlelight tonight!
Pray for my mind, my thinking...Ive been under attack, believing lies...this is my greatest struggle here, my thoughts. Pray specifically that I would be confident of my relationship with the Father, that I would have the wisdom to stop the lies from continuing by replacing them with truths from God's word. Thank you all who have been praying so faithfully!
To you ladies at church who love me more than I can know, I thank you so much for your prayers, for your encouragement. Thank you for ministering to my spirit, thank you for ministering to my mom in my absence. I know it blesses her heart to have you caring for me. You all hold such a dear place in my heart and I hope you know that I love you and am praying for you as well. You are treasures, and God is using you in amazing ways!
Love and Peace!
8.22.2007
Zambia Mailing....
I have heard well-meant comments from several of my loved ones of intentions of sending me glorious packages but, I am beginning to doubt. I have been in Zambia for a month and a half now and alas, nothing has arrived...BUT, I was thinking that this may be due to a lack of recent addressing (i have posted it in the past but I will do so again) :)
There are three ways of reaching me:
Revival Mission Center
Megan Christopherson
P.O. Box 90198,
Luanshya, Zambia
Hands@Work in Africa
Megan Christopherson
P.O. Box 90122
Luanshya, Zambia
And then the fastest and most expensive way straight to my door using DHL:
Megan Christopherson
C/O Jacob Sichalwe
1104 Section 5
Roan Township, Luanshya, Zambia
I look forward to many letters and very large packages! :)
Im feeling better today, my headache is gone which is a huge blessing cause I thought my head would explode. Now I am resting, preparing for two sweet gals to join me next week.
I cleaned all day yesterday. We use brooms outside made of dried long grass. It was ridiculous and very dusty but my place is looking more presentable. I found out that the mango tree in my yard is the big mango type, Sweetness! I eat fresh Papaya every morning, Joe climbs the tree to get it for me. Africa is Amazing!
There are three ways of reaching me:
Revival Mission Center
Megan Christopherson
P.O. Box 90198,
Luanshya, Zambia
Hands@Work in Africa
Megan Christopherson
P.O. Box 90122
Luanshya, Zambia
And then the fastest and most expensive way straight to my door using DHL:
Megan Christopherson
C/O Jacob Sichalwe
1104 Section 5
Roan Township, Luanshya, Zambia
I look forward to many letters and very large packages! :)
Im feeling better today, my headache is gone which is a huge blessing cause I thought my head would explode. Now I am resting, preparing for two sweet gals to join me next week.
I cleaned all day yesterday. We use brooms outside made of dried long grass. It was ridiculous and very dusty but my place is looking more presentable. I found out that the mango tree in my yard is the big mango type, Sweetness! I eat fresh Papaya every morning, Joe climbs the tree to get it for me. Africa is Amazing!
8.20.2007
lONG Time...
I know, I know...it has been a while! I have been missing you too! All sorts of craziness has been going on to keep me away from the computer and away from town.
We just finished two weeks of Kids Camps at the farm for 60 kiddos who are orphaned and vulnerable. It was a stretching time as well as sweet. It was great to be with the UK team and have some normal English conversations on a daily basis, that was such a blessing...although the British still have something against Americans! Ive found that almost every one has a problem with Americans. I used to be the same...but now I am just tired of the generalizations and the overall high opinions of everyone else. I guess we are all entitled to our opinions, but am ready for people to stop picking on me because of where I come from!
I just discovered that two of the boys from the camp live on my "street" and I have a fun time this morning as I was going to the market for some fruit when one of the boys ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to another one of the boys houses. I am looking forward to having the opportunity to continue loving on them and looking out for them! The children here are so beautiful and wonderful, even when their lives are in shambles, they are strong. I am humbled daily when I hear more stories. These people are amazing and it would truly be easy to ignore their stories because they don't wave them as banners, they rise above and thrive.
Im sick again, don't know how I keep getting sick, maybe I just have never truly gotten better. I feel it a bit in my chest though which makes me a little nervous. Pray that I will have time to rest and heal now that all the craziness has subsided!
This week God has really shown me the Spiritual struggle that I am involved in. The enemy has been trying to keep me from acknowledging the love of God in my life and I have been left feeling vulnerable and fearful. I miss the encouragement of other people in my life, but last night as I was sick and tired and crying, Naomi came to my house and encouraged me. She reminded me that I need to encourage myself in the Lord, as David did...even when all seems wrong, to believe that God is love, that He is in control, and trust in His authority in my life. So...I have been struggling, but holding fast to my Abba Father, Tata, and staying in the word.
Update on Pictures - my computer cord is broken, which means I can't use my laptop. My laptop has the software on it to download my pics from my camera...so we are stuck right now. NO music, no time to write reports from home, and no pictures until I get a new cord. Sorry! I am suffering as well...i miss music!
Love you all!
We just finished two weeks of Kids Camps at the farm for 60 kiddos who are orphaned and vulnerable. It was a stretching time as well as sweet. It was great to be with the UK team and have some normal English conversations on a daily basis, that was such a blessing...although the British still have something against Americans! Ive found that almost every one has a problem with Americans. I used to be the same...but now I am just tired of the generalizations and the overall high opinions of everyone else. I guess we are all entitled to our opinions, but am ready for people to stop picking on me because of where I come from!
I just discovered that two of the boys from the camp live on my "street" and I have a fun time this morning as I was going to the market for some fruit when one of the boys ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to another one of the boys houses. I am looking forward to having the opportunity to continue loving on them and looking out for them! The children here are so beautiful and wonderful, even when their lives are in shambles, they are strong. I am humbled daily when I hear more stories. These people are amazing and it would truly be easy to ignore their stories because they don't wave them as banners, they rise above and thrive.
Im sick again, don't know how I keep getting sick, maybe I just have never truly gotten better. I feel it a bit in my chest though which makes me a little nervous. Pray that I will have time to rest and heal now that all the craziness has subsided!
This week God has really shown me the Spiritual struggle that I am involved in. The enemy has been trying to keep me from acknowledging the love of God in my life and I have been left feeling vulnerable and fearful. I miss the encouragement of other people in my life, but last night as I was sick and tired and crying, Naomi came to my house and encouraged me. She reminded me that I need to encourage myself in the Lord, as David did...even when all seems wrong, to believe that God is love, that He is in control, and trust in His authority in my life. So...I have been struggling, but holding fast to my Abba Father, Tata, and staying in the word.
Update on Pictures - my computer cord is broken, which means I can't use my laptop. My laptop has the software on it to download my pics from my camera...so we are stuck right now. NO music, no time to write reports from home, and no pictures until I get a new cord. Sorry! I am suffering as well...i miss music!
Love you all!
8.08.2007
Email Help
Anyone who is from Bethel who is still using their bethel account, how do I access mine now? Maybe the site is just down but the new exchange system won't accept my login and password and I don't know what to do...Apes? Bon? Could you find out what I need to do and post it to this blog? Thanks a HEAP!
8.06.2007
Do you think I'm beautiful??
Africa has a different standard, and it is in my favor right now. I don't know how, but people think I am beautiful with this crazy head of hair I have...I might never understand it. My head itches so badly I am reminded of those horrible days as a child when I had lice. Yuck!
When I go to sleep I have to wrap my head with a scarf to keep the braids from tearing out of my scalp. Okay, I am exaggerating but it feels like that! It felts like there was wounds all over my head, and now those wounds are healing, and as they heal, they itch, HORRIBLY! By Friday, at the latest, I am taking these babies out...maybe by tomorrow. they tell me "you have to get used" Oh no, there will be no "getting used" this will not happen again!
This past weekend we had a Jubilee Conference with the church and I sang in the choir. I attracted much attention as the only white person within miles from the area on the first day. It was an interesting time. I learned some things, but was also challenged in some big ways. I don't feel comfortable with emotional churches, the screaming, the tongues, the laughter of the Lord. I don't understand these things and I can't see how a person can be fine and looking bored one moment and then the next be falling on the ground shaking. I don't like it, not one bit.
To be the only person in my group of relationships that believes in a different way is hard. I begin to doubt myself, wonder if I truly have been filled with the Holy Spirit since I don't speak in tongues or faint or do strange things. I wonder if I am missing something, maybe I have been wrong this whole time. And then the lingo that is used. Everything has the "Anointing" and we are praying "the blood of Jesus" over everything. I just hate this kind of talk. Yes, Jesus has given us all an anointing - and the blood of Jesus is what makes everything possible...but, I am just not impressed with something here. I'm sorry I am talking about this, maybe I need to keep it inside, but I really struggle with this, I don't get it.
I've decided to read through the book of Acts. The Holy Spirits power permeates through this book and I want to know about it, I want to find some confidence in what I believe in so i won't be swayed by other doctrines of belief. I hate being unsure of things, but what I hate most is being unsure of my relationship with the Lord. I have nothing when my confidence wavers in Him. Pray for me in this, it is real and it is important!
The speaker at the conference said we need to go deeper, we need to do the work of getting to the depths of God and His power. We can't be lazy about our relationship with him...I have taken this to heart and am searching for answers.
I'm moving into my house today! I am excited, but feeling a little lonely. A new house, another adjustment, many more things to learn, to buy, to clean. :) Does someone want to come over and help?
Love you!
When I go to sleep I have to wrap my head with a scarf to keep the braids from tearing out of my scalp. Okay, I am exaggerating but it feels like that! It felts like there was wounds all over my head, and now those wounds are healing, and as they heal, they itch, HORRIBLY! By Friday, at the latest, I am taking these babies out...maybe by tomorrow. they tell me "you have to get used" Oh no, there will be no "getting used" this will not happen again!
This past weekend we had a Jubilee Conference with the church and I sang in the choir. I attracted much attention as the only white person within miles from the area on the first day. It was an interesting time. I learned some things, but was also challenged in some big ways. I don't feel comfortable with emotional churches, the screaming, the tongues, the laughter of the Lord. I don't understand these things and I can't see how a person can be fine and looking bored one moment and then the next be falling on the ground shaking. I don't like it, not one bit.
To be the only person in my group of relationships that believes in a different way is hard. I begin to doubt myself, wonder if I truly have been filled with the Holy Spirit since I don't speak in tongues or faint or do strange things. I wonder if I am missing something, maybe I have been wrong this whole time. And then the lingo that is used. Everything has the "Anointing" and we are praying "the blood of Jesus" over everything. I just hate this kind of talk. Yes, Jesus has given us all an anointing - and the blood of Jesus is what makes everything possible...but, I am just not impressed with something here. I'm sorry I am talking about this, maybe I need to keep it inside, but I really struggle with this, I don't get it.
I've decided to read through the book of Acts. The Holy Spirits power permeates through this book and I want to know about it, I want to find some confidence in what I believe in so i won't be swayed by other doctrines of belief. I hate being unsure of things, but what I hate most is being unsure of my relationship with the Lord. I have nothing when my confidence wavers in Him. Pray for me in this, it is real and it is important!
The speaker at the conference said we need to go deeper, we need to do the work of getting to the depths of God and His power. We can't be lazy about our relationship with him...I have taken this to heart and am searching for answers.
I'm moving into my house today! I am excited, but feeling a little lonely. A new house, another adjustment, many more things to learn, to buy, to clean. :) Does someone want to come over and help?
Love you!
8.02.2007
Learning when to say NO
If you were to look at me right now, your eyes would still be searching for the Megan you know and I would hope that you love. The girl you would be glancing at has a pale face due to a few days of some major flu stuff going on in her system, but also due to bright red/brown hair...yes, you read that correctly.
Okay, so I am a little crazy and maybe just a little too easy going. So I told Annie that I wanted my hair braided...but in Zambia this means that I want extensions...which isn't true, at least not for me. Praxidence, a lovely girl who i have determined to be my friend took me to get my hair braided yesterday. After stopping by the shop called RUTH's we went to the market to check out extensions...I didn't really understand why we needed to look, but maybe for her? Nope...they were for me. First they pulled out BLACK extensions and I quickly declined, then came the black roots with bright purple and I hesitated for a very quick moment when I thought back to my younger days when I really wanted purple hair, and then I declined confidently...they tried to trick me with the third option with, again, black roots, but orange ends and I thought, hey, I love orange, and then stopped myself and shook my head, NO. Finally they pulled out a bunch of brown hair...yes, this was the last option and truly the only option as far as I'm concerned. Can you imagine me with black hair?!
I was already sick and feeling more nauseous as we walked back to RUTH's to get my hair done. I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours but had been losing plenty of fluids if that makes any sense...I sat to be braided and within half an hour my scalp was throbbing and my eyes began to grow dim. How do you explain "passing out" to someone who doesn't speak English? It isn't possible actually. The ladies all laughed at me and told me I was lazy and tired, but I knew the truth...I was freaked out, in pain, and incredibly dehydrated. I couldn't go on and I was a sight to see walking home with only the lower portion of my head braided with long red brown hair while the remaining blonde hair was pulled up on the top of my head in pig tails. Humiliation...that is the only word that really fits. I tied my bright green sweater around my head and avoided looking into anyone's eyes while I made the walk home...first stop - bathroom, second stop - bed, and that is where I stayed until almost 6pm when I taught the kiddos how to play UNO, ate some dinner and went to bed again. After another draining night, pun intended, I woke up early this morning determined to get this braiding over with and "embrace" my new look.
I will post pictures soon and you will be shocked and quite possibly appalled...but what's a girl to do but stand tall and say to heck with image! So, to heck with Image...I am still beautiful on the inside, right?
Pray for my health - I hate being sick like this, especially in someone else's home and without someone there to take care of me. I am trying to begin saying No to all the chaos around me and just relax while I can, give myself a rest as every day I am being challenged...it is okay if people look on and say I'm lazy...I guess...I need to be healthy in order to be effective right?!
Okay, so I am a little crazy and maybe just a little too easy going. So I told Annie that I wanted my hair braided...but in Zambia this means that I want extensions...which isn't true, at least not for me. Praxidence, a lovely girl who i have determined to be my friend took me to get my hair braided yesterday. After stopping by the shop called RUTH's we went to the market to check out extensions...I didn't really understand why we needed to look, but maybe for her? Nope...they were for me. First they pulled out BLACK extensions and I quickly declined, then came the black roots with bright purple and I hesitated for a very quick moment when I thought back to my younger days when I really wanted purple hair, and then I declined confidently...they tried to trick me with the third option with, again, black roots, but orange ends and I thought, hey, I love orange, and then stopped myself and shook my head, NO. Finally they pulled out a bunch of brown hair...yes, this was the last option and truly the only option as far as I'm concerned. Can you imagine me with black hair?!
I was already sick and feeling more nauseous as we walked back to RUTH's to get my hair done. I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours but had been losing plenty of fluids if that makes any sense...I sat to be braided and within half an hour my scalp was throbbing and my eyes began to grow dim. How do you explain "passing out" to someone who doesn't speak English? It isn't possible actually. The ladies all laughed at me and told me I was lazy and tired, but I knew the truth...I was freaked out, in pain, and incredibly dehydrated. I couldn't go on and I was a sight to see walking home with only the lower portion of my head braided with long red brown hair while the remaining blonde hair was pulled up on the top of my head in pig tails. Humiliation...that is the only word that really fits. I tied my bright green sweater around my head and avoided looking into anyone's eyes while I made the walk home...first stop - bathroom, second stop - bed, and that is where I stayed until almost 6pm when I taught the kiddos how to play UNO, ate some dinner and went to bed again. After another draining night, pun intended, I woke up early this morning determined to get this braiding over with and "embrace" my new look.
I will post pictures soon and you will be shocked and quite possibly appalled...but what's a girl to do but stand tall and say to heck with image! So, to heck with Image...I am still beautiful on the inside, right?
Pray for my health - I hate being sick like this, especially in someone else's home and without someone there to take care of me. I am trying to begin saying No to all the chaos around me and just relax while I can, give myself a rest as every day I am being challenged...it is okay if people look on and say I'm lazy...I guess...I need to be healthy in order to be effective right?!
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