I just paid off one of my student loans, oh beautiful bliss...this loan has been a chain around my neck causing many obsessive characteristics in Megan to surface, it's true, it hasn't been pretty...
this loan was not defer-able, not consolidate-able, and the interest rate could be whatever it felt like being. I paid on it while I was in school and I would have to pay on it if I had gone into the peace corps (a big reason why I didn't go after college) and I would have needed to pay on it while in Africa. This loan was no respecter of persons, it just wanted it's money. Well, no longer can you have your grasp on me Mr. loan #1 as I referred to him in my budget, you are gone. Good riddance!
I also had my crown placed today and it is beautiful. If anyone wants to see it before I go be sure to stop by and I will let you take a look! :)
thanks for the prayers! All seems to be going smoothly!
2.21.2007
2.20.2007
Packing for American Women
Okay, let's see here...Do I need this shirt? Oh yes, definitely, it will be helpful during those colder months to have a long sleeved shirt like this one. What about this one? Well, the color is a little deeper, more brilliant, I will feel better in this shirt, so yeah, I've got to bring this one as well. Well, what about these other ones? Well, yeah, I think I am going to need all of them, you know, you can never be too prepared!
Inventory:
Red long sleeved shirt, Check
Deeper Red long sleeved shirt, Check
Red and White long sleeved shirt, Check
Red shirt with bow, Check
....
Jeans, Check
Dark blue jeans, Check
Light blue jeans, Check
Ratty blue jeans, Check
...
Green sweater, Check
Tan Sweater, Check
Red Sweater, Check
Blue sweater, Check
....
One more red long sleeved shirt, just in case, Check
Ugh, this is impossible! I think I need everything and I can honestly justify it ALL! I am usually the girl who packs just enough, and not for looking good, but just to have clothes on my back, and usually I develop this "Ugly Betty" complex as EVERYONE else looks cuter than I do. I am not sure why I feel it is necessary to look cute in Africa, but the thought is a little comforting, I mean, who knows what the situations will be, at the very least I can look cute while I am in them, Right? Before you all judge me as the shallow girl that I know that I can be, just remember that you would be thinking the same things, but I will fess up to them, I can be honest, okay?! :)
So, I might be doing some re-adjusting of my bags, getting rid of a few red long sleeved shirts, MAYBE...depends on how I am feeling when I do my do-over of the packing, but don't hold me to it! Yeah, this is difficult, have you ever tried packing for a year and fitting in all into two pieces of luggage that don't weigh more than 50lbs? I would like to hear how you did since you obviously think I am ridiculous by this point!
Just livin' the dream....
Inventory:
Red long sleeved shirt, Check
Deeper Red long sleeved shirt, Check
Red and White long sleeved shirt, Check
Red shirt with bow, Check
....
Jeans, Check
Dark blue jeans, Check
Light blue jeans, Check
Ratty blue jeans, Check
...
Green sweater, Check
Tan Sweater, Check
Red Sweater, Check
Blue sweater, Check
....
One more red long sleeved shirt, just in case, Check
Ugh, this is impossible! I think I need everything and I can honestly justify it ALL! I am usually the girl who packs just enough, and not for looking good, but just to have clothes on my back, and usually I develop this "Ugly Betty" complex as EVERYONE else looks cuter than I do. I am not sure why I feel it is necessary to look cute in Africa, but the thought is a little comforting, I mean, who knows what the situations will be, at the very least I can look cute while I am in them, Right? Before you all judge me as the shallow girl that I know that I can be, just remember that you would be thinking the same things, but I will fess up to them, I can be honest, okay?! :)
So, I might be doing some re-adjusting of my bags, getting rid of a few red long sleeved shirts, MAYBE...depends on how I am feeling when I do my do-over of the packing, but don't hold me to it! Yeah, this is difficult, have you ever tried packing for a year and fitting in all into two pieces of luggage that don't weigh more than 50lbs? I would like to hear how you did since you obviously think I am ridiculous by this point!
Just livin' the dream....
For Jimmy
"Arise, shine" Isaiah 60:1
"We have to take the first step as though there were no God. It is no use to wait for God to help us, He will not; but immediately we arise we find He is there. Whenever God inspires, the initiative is a moral one. We must do the thing and not lie like a log. If we will arise and shine, drudgery becomes divinely transfigured."
~The Initiative against drudgery, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers~
I wish I had read this before we went to coffee, but it totally applies to our conversation! Go ahead, Arise, Shine! :)
"We have to take the first step as though there were no God. It is no use to wait for God to help us, He will not; but immediately we arise we find He is there. Whenever God inspires, the initiative is a moral one. We must do the thing and not lie like a log. If we will arise and shine, drudgery becomes divinely transfigured."
~The Initiative against drudgery, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers~
I wish I had read this before we went to coffee, but it totally applies to our conversation! Go ahead, Arise, Shine! :)
2.19.2007
Freedom in many forms
I know I know, it has been a while...I have been busy wrapping some things up and feel that I can shout now, FREE AT LAST, free at last, Thank God almighty, I'm free at last! It hasn't quite set in yet but I knew that it was a special thing to my spirit to be free of University of Phoenix. All you who still work there, you are there for a reason, but I felt that my spirit was being squashed there and I am so happy to be free of the money mentality. It has been 2+ years in the making and I stuck it out, but Thank You Jesus that you said OK, you can leave now!
So, a bit of an update - I did get medical coverage so prayers have been answered! It was a no stress type of thing with this new plan, they didn't ask any details on preexisting conditions so that was a bit of a relief. Although they still do not cover any preexisting conditions they couldn't rule me out due to past health issues. It was also almost $200 dollars less than the other plan, and this was a blessing as well. Keep the crown in your prayers, I go in for that this Wednesday...
Last Sunday we had a special time at the Gathering service with prayer and a bit of a "Megan presentation". It was an encouragement to see people's interest in my upcoming year as well as an outpouring of love and prayer. Honestly I wasn't sure how the evening was going to go...I find it difficult to ask my peers for support. I think I have sadly come to the thought that my generation is one without passion and I expect that no one will be interested or see the need for what I am called to do, but I am completely wrong in this. This is an area that I need to work on in my thinking. I hate it when others place me into a box and decide who i am without my input, but I all too often find myself doing exactly that with others and it isn't right and it isn't fair. The Gathering as a whole gave an outstanding amount of support, both financially and in prayer and I am thankful, so Thank you! Just stands to remind me to never underestimate anyone.
Okay, so I am going a bit out of order with my updates, but hopefully it all comes through okay ...just bare with me :)
Another huge blessing came to me this week in the form of a digital camera. I knew about this for a while but received it this week as a gift from a long time friend. Amazingly I had not expressed my want of a digital camera to anyone but only wrote it down in a list and the very next day received the news that this particular person felt led to buy a camera for me. It is great and I love the camera. I will now be able to post pictures of my trip and keep you all up to date with the latest fashion trends of Africa! :) Thank you so much for this! You have been a reminder of God's mysterious ways.
Emotional Update - I have been saying a lot of goodbyes...this isn't fun. I am hoping that there are no expectations of the goodbyes as I am worn out. I feel numb...and I am also at peace. A strange combination I must say, but I am not sad to leave behind what i have here...I am sad to leave those that I love - but I know that you aren't going anywhere, I know that those who love me will still love me throughout this year and will still be here when I return...all the rest - it isn't enough to make me stay, so I don't feel sad to leave. I need to do this and I am so excited to go and move into a place where I feel God has clearly led and directed me to. I get afraid when I think of all the possibilities, all of the unknown, but those things are also exciting and fill me with thoughts of adventure, challenge, and struggle. I love that stuff, always have. If it isn't hard, well then I'm usually not too interested. Ohhhh....why am I saying all of this?! I am just ready to go, but I cannot clearly communicate it all or describe the myriad feelings inside of me.
Last night and today in all of the services at Word of Grace Pastor Gary prayed for me. I went to each of the services and took part in the worship before the prayer and then was able to leave. At each service I left with tears in my eyes over the same songs. I felt that I was finally able to release some of the emotions I have been storing up inside of me and was relieved to cry. A man in the band played his ??Clarinet?? and played a beautiful arrangement of Amazing Grace. The solo started with high sweet tones plunging to deep clear sounds and I imagined myself freely dancing before my Savior, expressing finally outwardly my inner joy at his complete acceptance and overwhelming love for me. It was personal and private, the bride with her groom basking in His love and hearing His tender voice speak of the great Grace that He has given to her, a fallen woman, an adulterous woman who desperately seeks a true love, one true love. Oh the joy to know that I have found Him and that He accepts me as I am...and I danced with flowing garments of rich colors of boldness and redemption before Him. I danced to show Him my love for His Amazing Grace and I was filled with joy, it radiated out of my spirit and shone in His presence, and I loved Him...I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see. It was a sweet moment with Jesus!
This upcoming week will be spent packing and giving things away :) I am excited to downsize and de-clutter. Watch out Goodwill, your trucks will be filled to the top!
So, a bit of an update - I did get medical coverage so prayers have been answered! It was a no stress type of thing with this new plan, they didn't ask any details on preexisting conditions so that was a bit of a relief. Although they still do not cover any preexisting conditions they couldn't rule me out due to past health issues. It was also almost $200 dollars less than the other plan, and this was a blessing as well. Keep the crown in your prayers, I go in for that this Wednesday...
Last Sunday we had a special time at the Gathering service with prayer and a bit of a "Megan presentation". It was an encouragement to see people's interest in my upcoming year as well as an outpouring of love and prayer. Honestly I wasn't sure how the evening was going to go...I find it difficult to ask my peers for support. I think I have sadly come to the thought that my generation is one without passion and I expect that no one will be interested or see the need for what I am called to do, but I am completely wrong in this. This is an area that I need to work on in my thinking. I hate it when others place me into a box and decide who i am without my input, but I all too often find myself doing exactly that with others and it isn't right and it isn't fair. The Gathering as a whole gave an outstanding amount of support, both financially and in prayer and I am thankful, so Thank you! Just stands to remind me to never underestimate anyone.
Okay, so I am going a bit out of order with my updates, but hopefully it all comes through okay ...just bare with me :)
Another huge blessing came to me this week in the form of a digital camera. I knew about this for a while but received it this week as a gift from a long time friend. Amazingly I had not expressed my want of a digital camera to anyone but only wrote it down in a list and the very next day received the news that this particular person felt led to buy a camera for me. It is great and I love the camera. I will now be able to post pictures of my trip and keep you all up to date with the latest fashion trends of Africa! :) Thank you so much for this! You have been a reminder of God's mysterious ways.
Emotional Update - I have been saying a lot of goodbyes...this isn't fun. I am hoping that there are no expectations of the goodbyes as I am worn out. I feel numb...and I am also at peace. A strange combination I must say, but I am not sad to leave behind what i have here...I am sad to leave those that I love - but I know that you aren't going anywhere, I know that those who love me will still love me throughout this year and will still be here when I return...all the rest - it isn't enough to make me stay, so I don't feel sad to leave. I need to do this and I am so excited to go and move into a place where I feel God has clearly led and directed me to. I get afraid when I think of all the possibilities, all of the unknown, but those things are also exciting and fill me with thoughts of adventure, challenge, and struggle. I love that stuff, always have. If it isn't hard, well then I'm usually not too interested. Ohhhh....why am I saying all of this?! I am just ready to go, but I cannot clearly communicate it all or describe the myriad feelings inside of me.
Last night and today in all of the services at Word of Grace Pastor Gary prayed for me. I went to each of the services and took part in the worship before the prayer and then was able to leave. At each service I left with tears in my eyes over the same songs. I felt that I was finally able to release some of the emotions I have been storing up inside of me and was relieved to cry. A man in the band played his ??Clarinet?? and played a beautiful arrangement of Amazing Grace. The solo started with high sweet tones plunging to deep clear sounds and I imagined myself freely dancing before my Savior, expressing finally outwardly my inner joy at his complete acceptance and overwhelming love for me. It was personal and private, the bride with her groom basking in His love and hearing His tender voice speak of the great Grace that He has given to her, a fallen woman, an adulterous woman who desperately seeks a true love, one true love. Oh the joy to know that I have found Him and that He accepts me as I am...and I danced with flowing garments of rich colors of boldness and redemption before Him. I danced to show Him my love for His Amazing Grace and I was filled with joy, it radiated out of my spirit and shone in His presence, and I loved Him...I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see. It was a sweet moment with Jesus!
This upcoming week will be spent packing and giving things away :) I am excited to downsize and de-clutter. Watch out Goodwill, your trucks will be filled to the top!
2.11.2007
My Anchor holds
Am I controlling? I would never label myself as a controlling person, although I have been told that I have these tendencies. You know what? They are revealing themselves in outstanding ways these past few weeks, especially the last couple days. Depression, anxiety, fear...all for me symptoms of my control. I am finding myself struggling to hold on to everything that I am leaving. Relationships especially - actually only relationships. I really could care less about the material things that I have - I find little pleasure in having great shoes or stunning clothes other than hoping that someone else who cares may think I have done a good job with my outfit. If it was up to me it would be sweats all day everyday - that's it, that is my comfort zone...but it is the people I love that I am afraid of losing. I am struggling, fighting God for control of these areas that I never had a hold on in the first place. Please don't leave me, please don't forget me...and I shrink inside, forgetting my passion and all the things that have brought me to this place, and consider for a moment giving it all up to not have to lose control and embrace the uncertainty that comes from absence.
It is a strange place to be in, leaving all of those relationships that you have held so dear and finding that they may not be what you thought and having to choose to follow God either way. Some people may stay, and I pray that they will stay, but some may go and my heart aches for this possibility. It is all "what ifs" again and there is no way to know for sure. But one thing I do know for sure is the one that I could truly not live without will never leave me. That is what I am trying to focus on, that He will never leave me - and He is the giver of life, hope, peace, LOVE...He is the source.
In times like these, you need a Savior, In times like these you need an anchor, be very sure, be very sure Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock, In times like these I have a Savior, In times like these I have an anchor; I'm very sure, I'm very sure My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock! This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One; This Rock is Jesus, The Only One! I'm very sure, I'm very sure My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock! - Ruth Caye Jones
It is a strange place to be in, leaving all of those relationships that you have held so dear and finding that they may not be what you thought and having to choose to follow God either way. Some people may stay, and I pray that they will stay, but some may go and my heart aches for this possibility. It is all "what ifs" again and there is no way to know for sure. But one thing I do know for sure is the one that I could truly not live without will never leave me. That is what I am trying to focus on, that He will never leave me - and He is the giver of life, hope, peace, LOVE...He is the source.
In times like these, you need a Savior, In times like these you need an anchor, be very sure, be very sure Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock, In times like these I have a Savior, In times like these I have an anchor; I'm very sure, I'm very sure My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock! This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One; This Rock is Jesus, The Only One! I'm very sure, I'm very sure My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock! - Ruth Caye Jones
2.08.2007
Barriers and Prayer Requests
So a few things have come up that have formed some concerns in my progress of going to Africa. Yesterday I went in to the dentist to find that the intense gum pain I was having was a result of a poorly placed crown I had put in over 6 years ago, they had to take the old crown out and put in a temporary until they are able to put the permanent crown in on the 21st...the day before I leave. Please pray that this crown will be successful and there will be no complications as I will not have dental coverage while in Africa.
Also, today I received a call from the health insurance company and found out that I was denied coverage with the plan they thought was best for me due to the health issues I have had throughout my life...they said that there were too many and chose not to accept my application. This was actually a big concern of mine so stress overwhelmed me when I was told this. I thought that I was clear when I was approved to go by my medical doctor and did not ever consider the insurance company, so my fears have grown about this area of the preparations. There is another plan that I can apply for, so please pray that this application is accepted. It actually costs less money, but the coverage is not as broad as the other one. Please pray for my health, pray that I won't even need to use my health insurance while in Africa and if I do, pray that the coverage is sufficient for my needs.
These things are actually small and are all based in the "what if" area, but seem very big as my departure date approaches. Please join me in prayer as these things are still in the process of being worked out.
Otherwise, I have my tickets to get to Nelspruit, South Africa...I have my clothes, I am raising the support, my visa is in progress but not to be worried about...I guess I don't need to worry about any of it right?! God is in control, He is able to work things out and trust is the main thing right now, it is always the main thing...but please pray, that my fears would be calmed and that these areas of concern would be resolved
Much thanks!
Also, today I received a call from the health insurance company and found out that I was denied coverage with the plan they thought was best for me due to the health issues I have had throughout my life...they said that there were too many and chose not to accept my application. This was actually a big concern of mine so stress overwhelmed me when I was told this. I thought that I was clear when I was approved to go by my medical doctor and did not ever consider the insurance company, so my fears have grown about this area of the preparations. There is another plan that I can apply for, so please pray that this application is accepted. It actually costs less money, but the coverage is not as broad as the other one. Please pray for my health, pray that I won't even need to use my health insurance while in Africa and if I do, pray that the coverage is sufficient for my needs.
These things are actually small and are all based in the "what if" area, but seem very big as my departure date approaches. Please join me in prayer as these things are still in the process of being worked out.
Otherwise, I have my tickets to get to Nelspruit, South Africa...I have my clothes, I am raising the support, my visa is in progress but not to be worried about...I guess I don't need to worry about any of it right?! God is in control, He is able to work things out and trust is the main thing right now, it is always the main thing...but please pray, that my fears would be calmed and that these areas of concern would be resolved
Much thanks!
2.06.2007
Explanation
I wanted to write a bit about what I will be doing over the next year as there seems to be some confusion as to what the plans are. So...here's an explanation of sorts!
I will be volunteering with an organization called Hands at Work (H@W). This is a Christian Home Based Care agency based in South Africa. It operates out of the Africa School of Missions. The base is in the Northeast region of South Africa, 4 hours from Johannesburg and about 20 minutes from Kruger National Park. I will spend my first three months working in South Africa with ASM and the Masoyi Community, a home based care community that H@W was modeled after in South Africa. My first three months will be a time of Orientation as well as going over practical theology (love this), cross-cultural communication and discipleship/support. We will also be doing ministry with Masoyi and preparing for our individual field work.
The next 9 months are bit less specific. For all of you Type A personalities you may find this vague and uncomfortable but there is no specific plan for the last 9 months. I will be at one of six potential field sites using any and all kinds of skills such as administration, nursing, building, and people skills. I will be there to meet the needs of the community and the design is not specific...this is a chance to allow God to stretch as well as Him to use us in the areas that we might have the most strengths. I love this, but it does make it difficult to tell you all what I am going to be doing. I will be practically serving and loving others...that's as specific as it gets right now!
If you have any questions just let me know, I want people to understand what I am doing, but also understand that all is not known at this point in time...
Love
I will be volunteering with an organization called Hands at Work (H@W). This is a Christian Home Based Care agency based in South Africa. It operates out of the Africa School of Missions. The base is in the Northeast region of South Africa, 4 hours from Johannesburg and about 20 minutes from Kruger National Park. I will spend my first three months working in South Africa with ASM and the Masoyi Community, a home based care community that H@W was modeled after in South Africa. My first three months will be a time of Orientation as well as going over practical theology (love this), cross-cultural communication and discipleship/support. We will also be doing ministry with Masoyi and preparing for our individual field work.
The next 9 months are bit less specific. For all of you Type A personalities you may find this vague and uncomfortable but there is no specific plan for the last 9 months. I will be at one of six potential field sites using any and all kinds of skills such as administration, nursing, building, and people skills. I will be there to meet the needs of the community and the design is not specific...this is a chance to allow God to stretch as well as Him to use us in the areas that we might have the most strengths. I love this, but it does make it difficult to tell you all what I am going to be doing. I will be practically serving and loving others...that's as specific as it gets right now!
If you have any questions just let me know, I want people to understand what I am doing, but also understand that all is not known at this point in time...
Love
2.01.2007
The Author and Finisher
Yesterday I received $5,300.00 in support. Yes, you read that correctly...in one day almost half of my support came in through a few wonderful people. You may never suspect where or who, how or why...but God comes through, every time! I just sat and wept...and then wept some more. I don't understand...I am so unworthy to be doing God's work...but He just keeps saying "Yes, I have chosen you to do this."
The time is getting closer and closer, only three short weeks and I will be boarding that plane and taking the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. You should feel glad to know that I am very excited about this...I thought that I might feel dread, but I think the reason why I keep doubting the trip is because I want to do it so badly I feel that I must be doing something wrong. God doesn't let us do stuff we enjoy...right?! :) But, in fact, He does!
The time is getting closer and closer, only three short weeks and I will be boarding that plane and taking the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. You should feel glad to know that I am very excited about this...I thought that I might feel dread, but I think the reason why I keep doubting the trip is because I want to do it so badly I feel that I must be doing something wrong. God doesn't let us do stuff we enjoy...right?! :) But, in fact, He does!
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily
ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before
us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our
faith" Hebrews 12: 1,2
"Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees,
and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be
dislocated, but rather be healed" Hebrews 12: 12, 13
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