God has been good...I see His design, His plan for Africa as I look back over the past two years of my life. Funny how some things just seem to be random, but later you find that they had a clear and direct purpose.
I am feeling a bit...odd today. I met with some friends for lunch, good people who I know care about me and my trip. We spoke about preparing for the upcoming plans that God has and the more we spoke the more I felt uncomfortable. I know that God has led me to the place I am in, and He is clearly making a way for my journey to Africa, but an overwhelming feeling of insecurity grips me from time to time and I feel that I need to Become...Become a different kind of perfect person, become a better kind of Christian...become. This is something I have struggled with throughout my lifetime, feelings of being a chameleon, always wanting to be sure I looked the part and getting caught up in the legalism that places chains on my wrists an ache in my heart...I feel swallowed by it sometimes, and today especially.
I think it is very easy when doing a specific "God thing" to tend to feel the need to use "God words" and "God phrases"...as Christine and I joke around about children in Sunday School who answer "JESUS" to every question, as they have heard that as the correct answer for so long, they don't even understand the question, they just know it has got to have Something to do with Him.... I don't want this to be the way I live my life or the way I live this next year. I want to be genuine. I want to be real. I want to BE not become.... and this does not mean that I don't want to grow and change and allow God do the work in me that He has begun, I want to be molded as God wills...but as God wills...not as I will myself.
Prayer request - that God would comfort my heart, that I would know that He has not asked me to be anyone other than myself, and that He would do the work through me...that I would let go of any thoughts that I am supposed to know how or have the power to do any of this on my own.
God truly is a good God. He gave me a gift this weekend. He gave me three birds rather than one, and a canary singer to boot...what a sweet, sweet sound those words were to my heart. God loves His children, and He loves us abundantly..."I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" John 10:10
1.24.2007
Conversations with Africa
I spoke with Carly yesterday. She is the girl that I have been working with directly over in South Africa during my application process. She is from Australia and has been in SA for the past 18 months. She has a beautiful accent with a mixture of Australian and the British English! She told me more about the other volunteers. The two that were pioneered the Footprints in Africa program last August are both from a church called Bethel in Fargo, North Dakota. This struck me as interesting as I was born in Fargo, and went to Bethel University...Carly told me that my accent was the same as theirs...BIG disappointment and not the accent I had in mind for myself. :) I was told when I returned from Romania that I had a Romanian accent, funny story, but I would much rather it be an exotic Romanian accent than the good old Fargo accent that is much mocked here in the States...oh well.
There will be five adult volunteers, and surprisingly three little volunteers that we might not have any luck getting to work... :) Let me explain. The adults are a girl named Brooke, from Fargo as well, a boy from Canada whose name I can't pronounce and therefor should not attempt to spell, and myself...then there is a married couple - James and Megan (two of us), who have three children. TWINS and a little girl, all under the age of 5 years old, and they will be joining us as well. Very exciting!!
During the first three months we will stay at a property just down the road from the Africa School of Missions. A couple owns a large area of land that has a two houses and a school house on it. The couple lives in one of the houses, James, Megan and the children will stay in the other house, and the schoolhouse will be the home for the remaining three of us for the time. It was explained to me that the schoolhouse is two stories (I love two story houses). The bottom floor has a kitchen for us to use and a big open area for meetings or activities or whatever, like a family room. The upstairs is where the three of us will stay. I am not sure how it is all designed but it sounds like an adventure to me!
Carly told me that they had T-shirts made for us too...so luckily I am getting a t-shirt out of the deal :) We laughed about the similarity between those in Africa and in the States, they will do anything for a free t-shirt out there as well ...
My mind was put at ease during our conversation. My biggest concern has been getting my 12 month visitors visa. The SA consulate has not been very helpful answering my questions when I call and I have felt a bit anxious about getting the visa in time. Carly explained to me that if I don't have my visa in time I can just go without it and get an automatic 90 day visa in SA. During that time I can then apply for my 12 month visa so there is no reason for the visa to hold me back from the trip. All my concerns are finding solutions one by one.
There will be five adult volunteers, and surprisingly three little volunteers that we might not have any luck getting to work... :) Let me explain. The adults are a girl named Brooke, from Fargo as well, a boy from Canada whose name I can't pronounce and therefor should not attempt to spell, and myself...then there is a married couple - James and Megan (two of us), who have three children. TWINS and a little girl, all under the age of 5 years old, and they will be joining us as well. Very exciting!!
During the first three months we will stay at a property just down the road from the Africa School of Missions. A couple owns a large area of land that has a two houses and a school house on it. The couple lives in one of the houses, James, Megan and the children will stay in the other house, and the schoolhouse will be the home for the remaining three of us for the time. It was explained to me that the schoolhouse is two stories (I love two story houses). The bottom floor has a kitchen for us to use and a big open area for meetings or activities or whatever, like a family room. The upstairs is where the three of us will stay. I am not sure how it is all designed but it sounds like an adventure to me!
Carly told me that they had T-shirts made for us too...so luckily I am getting a t-shirt out of the deal :) We laughed about the similarity between those in Africa and in the States, they will do anything for a free t-shirt out there as well ...
My mind was put at ease during our conversation. My biggest concern has been getting my 12 month visitors visa. The SA consulate has not been very helpful answering my questions when I call and I have felt a bit anxious about getting the visa in time. Carly explained to me that if I don't have my visa in time I can just go without it and get an automatic 90 day visa in SA. During that time I can then apply for my 12 month visa so there is no reason for the visa to hold me back from the trip. All my concerns are finding solutions one by one.
1.23.2007
Snow and promises....
Yesterday on my way to evening service it snowed. I was so excited!!! I thought about all the worries that we have about the environment, global warming and feeling the earth is somehow self-destructing...but I saw the snow as a promise. God is in control, and He is big enough to take care of things, big enough to make it snow in Phoenix, Arizona. Who would even imagine? I was quite impressed!
Church was filled with promises as well. Can I just say right now that I love the Gathering and I feel so blessed that Tim and Holly (and my baby Jude) have come to teach and lead there? They are amazing people and I have never left the service empty. I know that it is God, that He does the work, but I believe it takes a leader that is listening to God to allow God to speak those words into our lives...so mad props to Tim Miller! Okay - back on track here...so Tim has been teaching from the book of Joshua.
It is in Joshua that the children of Israel finally cross over the Jordan river. They had been wandering for forty years and now they are right across the river from the promised land. Tim connects this to trusting God and following His directions, believing that He will be faithful in His promises...a passage stood out to me from Joshua 3 vs 3 and 4: "and they commanded the people saying, "When you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God, and the priests, and Levites, bearing it, then you shall set out from your place and go after it. Yet there shall be a space between you and it...do not come near it, that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before." In this journey I have wondered, why Africa? I have never even been there before so how can I follow Jesus to a place I have never been, FOR A YEAR no less...but this passage brought peace as I thought of God leading them as "they had never passed that way before". God was needed because it was unfamiliar. They were put into a place that required deeper trust in His directing. Same with me. If Africa was familiar, I may have a tendancy to trust my past experience and the people I know out there rather than fully trusting God's leading.
I was immunized for Rabies, Menengitis, and got my second series for Hep A&B today...fun times getting ready!
Church was filled with promises as well. Can I just say right now that I love the Gathering and I feel so blessed that Tim and Holly (and my baby Jude) have come to teach and lead there? They are amazing people and I have never left the service empty. I know that it is God, that He does the work, but I believe it takes a leader that is listening to God to allow God to speak those words into our lives...so mad props to Tim Miller! Okay - back on track here...so Tim has been teaching from the book of Joshua.
It is in Joshua that the children of Israel finally cross over the Jordan river. They had been wandering for forty years and now they are right across the river from the promised land. Tim connects this to trusting God and following His directions, believing that He will be faithful in His promises...a passage stood out to me from Joshua 3 vs 3 and 4: "and they commanded the people saying, "When you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God, and the priests, and Levites, bearing it, then you shall set out from your place and go after it. Yet there shall be a space between you and it...do not come near it, that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before." In this journey I have wondered, why Africa? I have never even been there before so how can I follow Jesus to a place I have never been, FOR A YEAR no less...but this passage brought peace as I thought of God leading them as "they had never passed that way before". God was needed because it was unfamiliar. They were put into a place that required deeper trust in His directing. Same with me. If Africa was familiar, I may have a tendancy to trust my past experience and the people I know out there rather than fully trusting God's leading.
I was immunized for Rabies, Menengitis, and got my second series for Hep A&B today...fun times getting ready!
1.20.2007
Salve to a wounded heart
If any of you know me you will understand what a blessing my devotions were this morning. I am finding myself more and more dependant on my time with God, craving His words, His direction, His company. I feel empty when i go to bed knowing I haven't spent any time with Him, knowing that if I trying to start reading my bible at that time I would only fall asleep...I feel as though I have cheated myself from precious time with the one who accepts me as I am, completely and mercifully. Well, this morning I was determined to spend some time in the word and God blessed me in a very unexpected way. On my last trip I was a bit pained by some people's perception of me, a refusal to join with me on my trip because of how I appear...but God's soothing salve of love and acceptance along with his transforming power have brought healing to those wounded places.
Ezekiel 16:8-14 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
“When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord GOD.
9 “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. 10 I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. 11 I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. 12 And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. 14 Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord GOD.
1.19.2007
Testing 1, 2, 3...Is this thing on????
Hey everyone! I am just checking things out with this blog...wanting to see how this all works. I will have this blog up while I am in Africa to keep everyone updated. I plan on posting pictures as well depending on how the internet works when I am living in Africa. So, stay tuned!
Love you all!
Megan
Love you all!
Megan
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